Looking Forward But Only After Looking Back
When better than the end of one year and the beginning of a nice new, fresh one for some reflection hey. 2013 was a year of both success and failure for me. Each stands out as distinctly as the other in my memory. But more than anything 2013 was a year full of lessons. I guess we are constantly learning but this past year I learnt things that I can actually remember. Things that I care about. Things that are useful. Things that I can apply and want to apply.
I am not sure if I have ever consciously reflected on what I have learnt, not by choice anyway. I’m a little embarrassed to admit it but the first things that spring into my mind seem pretty arrogant. I learnt that I am strong and I learnt to believe that I am certain I can achieve my goals.
Every year I write my goals down. At the end of every year I put little ticks next to the ones I have achieved and spend some time pondering over the ones I failed to put that tick by with feelings of guilt and regret. In 2013 I didn’t achieve all of my goals. The year seemed to pass by so quickly and thinking back I do not feel like I got fully stuck into anything. 2012 had so many stand out moments, high highs and low lows. In an extremely brief summary: I did well in the World Cup Circuit and I broke my leg. Then in 2013 I didn’t do as well in the world cups and I didn’t have any major injuries. So on paper and in the media I didn’t do much. And then I remember how close I got to winning and then I remember that I climbed on rock too. I climbed my first 8B!
Back to the learning. I find it difficult to put into words my overall experience in the world cups of 2013. It felt like the competitions were really beginning, like I was entered into a new league or starting a new level of a game. There were so many aspects that did not exist in my first season. I was afraid to fail. Expectation replaced excitement. Pressure masked the fun. In 2012 I learnt what it was like to compete in 2013 I learnt what it was like to be a competitor. I went from going to the competitions to take part to going to the competitions to stand on the podium. I wasn’t ready and I thought I knew what to expect but despite my 1 year of experience I was not prepared. Mentally this time not physically. Experience is one thing you can not train!
I put my focus into competing and went rock climbing as a break. For fun. I think. I went to Colorado with some good friends and climbed my hardest boulder to date. That was an overwhelming and challenging experience. However, when I stood on top of that boulder things seemed so clear. I learnt how strong I was. Both mentally and physically. I learnt what I could realistically aspire achieve.
I am ready and prepared to put the time in. Training is all about putting the time in. Trusting what you are doing and working hard. I know I have to push myself. I understand the physical elements. But 2013 taught me about the psychological elements too. Both on plastic and on rock. With my coach always there to help I was able to take more from my experiences than ever before.
I feel that the pieces of the world cup climber jigsaw are coming together and I can make now out the what the picture looks like. I am surrounded by people who believe in me and support me. They help me to always keep working on my jigsaw. I am so lucky to have such an amazing network of incredible people. I feel more ready to take on a year than ever before. I really, really want to put ticks next to ALL of my goals next year!
Happy training! 🙂 Good luck with your goals for 2014!